Image courtesy of Chris Luckhardt - a brother the Internet helped me find. Thank you my sweet friend. Check out his stunning (and often-stolen) work at In a heartbeat, a love song can describe so perfectly the most bittersweet loss, take you back to an instant, that excruciating, desperately precious agony. And still be... Read more →

The One

In my recovery, I've been concentrating not only on myself, but also on what love means. What relationships I want in my life, and how I can know myself better and make better choices. I've read a few articles recently that I'm thinking about, mulling over...and that I hope will help me make better decisions in the future. Being on the Same... Read more →

Consent is as simple as tea.

I'm putting this here because it's such a perfect analogy. I don't want to lose it in the dark vault that's Facebook. This elevated enlightenment written by Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess.   Consent: Not Actually That Complicated It seems like every time an article is written about consent, or a move made towards... Read more →

Coral Bones

Sitting in the middle of the living room floor. Dog milling about anxiously, head down, tail subdued. The occasional hushed, then randomly boisterous talk of the movers packing her things. Her entire collection of sand and shells, collected over more than a decade, sitting on the floor in front of her, each painstakingly placed in a glass... Read more →

chopsticks don’t go in your hair.

A conversation at a SXSW party this year brought a bad feeling back to the fore, and so I kind of want to discuss it. I also kind of don't. I fear being misunderstood because I am aware of how being white has stopped me from talking about it before, but maybe this post can help me clear up, even for myself, what I feel. 2015 was the... Read more →
JournalMy Endless Loves

Close Call

The other day I was coming home from my grief counselor's office when I spotted two big lost dogs on leashes wandering around in the dark, focused on something they couldn't find...home. I slowed my car and called out to them, and they approached the car sheepishly — good. Friendly. I put on my hazards and pulled over, and slowly opened... Read more →

Lyrics: Under The Table

It already started I tried to stop it, but I already know You are something I should do without But I won't I'm under the table Just keep wishing I'll come out but I don't You are something I should do without But I won't Please tell me that This could be easy I'm tired of waiting For permission to love Heartbreak is... Read more →

Best decision I ever made.

I've been wandering through life, pointed only forward, grieving losses - my mother moving, my divorce, Chicken, my youth, Taylor, and who I used to think I was and the trapped person I was...and then I found someone. And he was beautiful and sweet and loving, but in a very short time, he became so much like the man I left. I know now... Read more →

Lyrics: Someone New

I can love you desperately, Boy your love ain't guaranteed... Oh I wish you knew the deal. Gotta learn from far away that I simply Needed space Space for me to be... And I think you need it too, Though I know you call me selfish for assuming... I did this for you too. Got me 'round your finger Even though I'm far away... Please... Read more →

Transcript: “Where the Women are All Strong, the Men Are All Good Looking and the Children Are All Above Average”

This is a transcript of an episode of Zoe's podcast. Audio stream is at the bottom of the post. The highlighted parts are mine, and I will comment on them in a separate post... Zoe: "So...which one up here is your favorite?" Interviewee 1: "Uh...well...right in front of us, Jessie James." Z: "She's your favorite..." I1: "She's one... Read more →
JournalMental Health

New Rules

Right is right even if no one is doing it — what feels right, or difficult, probably is Let go of complaining — negativity and complaining or "venting" doesn't actually solve anything, and time is of the essence Let go of self-defeating ideas — imaginary hurdles warp our ideas about what is possible Let go of fears — healthy... Read more →

Sopa de Pescado

My recipe is based on a soup I had at La Calle Doce, a few googled recipes, and my own experiments. The ingredient measurements are approximate because I don't usually measure stuff when I'm making up a recipe. Ping me @stealingsand if you have questions or flavor problems... Variations: Add cancha to the finished soup Use shrimp... Read more →