I bought a Finding Nemo pen at Disneyworld when I went there with my husband and dad and everybody back in ’04. I love that pen. It’s cute, and has a little Nemo thingy where you pump the point out.

The ink ran out.

I went to Staples and bought some ball-point thingy that looked like it would be the right size. I found one that had the little ridge thingies in the same location as my current empty ink thingy. I thought it would fit. It didn’t. Apparently a millimeter is a big deal when trying to reassemble a ballpoint pen.

So I decided to cut the ink thingy to fit. The ink in the cartrige was a little below the cut-point, but that wasn’t a big deal.

Or so I thought.

Apparently ink likes to come out of these things (go figure). I didn’t want ink all over my purse, or all over Nemo, for that matter. So in my mad-scientist way, I decided to seal it off. I got out a bar of soap, and dug the end of the cut cartridge into it. I figured the soap would plug up the hole, and everything would be snicky. The soap popped out, dragging ink across my palm with it.

Next, I decided to melt the damn thing. If I could melt the cartridge a little, then bend it over to seal itself, then I would have done it. Nemo rides again. I thought about wax, but this was a more direct approach, far quicker.

Apparently ink is flammable, and catches fire quite easily when it is oozing out of the pen. And spatters. I got boiling ink spatters on my hand, tho not on my clothes. I cleaned the mess out of the sink, threw the mess away, and gave up.

Yes, I was over the sink. I am not completely crazy.

Moral: Don’t put fire to it unless you’re sure it won’t catch fire.

Afterthought: I may try candle wax this next time around.