Hey, Mr. Oblivious. I know most people don’t mind when phlegmy fortysomethings sit right behind them in a restaurant and make clearing noises in their throat. And sigh-moan. And then hock up something. And then moan. And then clear their throats, and cough in their hair.

The Wendy’s dining area is absolutely the best place in the world to hock something up. Preferably right behind me. While I’m eating. In an otherwise empty restaurant.

Sorry I left so early in your meal. I just didn’t know if I could handle getting sick right before a vacation.