This morning it was hard to get up. I heard meowing, plaintive and lost, neeeeedy meowing. Almost panicked. I stumbled out of bed to see who was trapped/lost/hurt. It was Salju, begging Tony to pet her. And I think I want a vocal siamese-type cat. Ha. After I fell back into the bed, mumbling at Salju to shut up, I dropped off to sleep again. I felt Tony kiss me goodbye and heard him lock the door. An hour or so later, I woke up to find an empty house.

The damn apartment is always empty now. It’s just me and the kids, because Tony has decided to work with his friends in their store during the day, and go to work at his regular job at night. It’s his right, and I feel so Salju when I say that I miss him. He’s filling up his days, being useful, effective, reaching out to opportunities. I am all feling sorry for myself that I don’t have him around at least part of the day. Not that we do anything in the morning when he’s there, on the contrary, we do nothing, just stay together, talk, prepare for our day. I feel selfish saying I miss that, but I do. Salju got it from her Mama.

Is it horrible to wish that my students would cancel? I get about 5 hours a week cancelled because so-and-so has something to do, and I get paid for those hours if they don’t cancel at least 24 hours before the class. Nice. But if I cancel, I don’t get paid. There’s no reason for me to cancel, except having to catch up on my z’s. I have a student this afternoon from 3:30 to 5:30, and I teach him at his office, in the most traffic-laden area of town. Finishing at rush hour. I hate driving home after that class, stuck in traffic in the heat and the sun. Wasting my gas.

But then again, I get two hours of pay. Which is cool. But this dude has stood me up at least twice, in the eight or ten weeks I have been teaching him. So I get mad in advance, thinking of the appropriate torture for a man who stands up a teacher who has to drive home in traffic for him. I wish all of my classes were at the school, but a majority of them are not, and I drive drive drive, a half hour each way, wasting huours of my day, putting miles and miles on my car. Like today, I had a class at the school this morning, then there’s this gap of an hour and a half between my classes. Can I do anything in this gap? Just check my email at the library, get a bite to eat, and then drive again. I’m hungry.

Tonight’s class cancelled, and so I don’t have to teach until 9 tonight, but then again, he cancelled on Monday so we can’t charge him. I like this guy, so I hold no ill will against him. I told Mama I would go shopping with her tonight, which is starting to sound like a drag, a tiring drag. But if I go home there’s just that empty-ass apartment with inquiring lazy cat faces. So shopping…yeah, I’ll do that.